Complicated Destruction

Hey people! x]

Garrrr, Well I got myself stuck in this mess, even after I run in fear of my life, I'm braught back to the daunting memories and thoughts that I once locked away in my head :/ For some reason I feel as if I shouldn't really be doing anything right now, But I am... Thinking of a way to sort this mess out...

Hmmmmm... I'm not so naive, I have Conor and others, Family etc to live for, but at the same time I don't know if I could stand back and watch this mess unfold. I know that I have alot of self control, but Sebby doesn't. :/ Sometimes I wish that I really don't have to be involved with such hate filled intentions :/

First of all, On the good part of my blog... I've figured something out last night, and then told Conor this morning after I had the pleasure of being rudley awakened... Whilst being less then half dressed xD ...

"A heart filled with Hated, Greed, Lust and power is something not worth fighting for... But a hear filled with love, compasion, care and light is something worth dieing for".

I know that when it comes to situations, some people cannot forgive. I know this I've been through this countless of times, Andrei being one of those times. But still I have learnt that those people who are swallowed up by their lust and hatred are really the victims here. When someone is taken in by such daunting emotions, they become un-aware of the damage they cause everyone around them. And for that single reason is why I try my hardest not to act on behalf of my dark emotions.

At this moment in time, I'm still unaware of what to do concerning this "Hurtful" situation. Personally I don't see what this is all about, I really do not have anything against this guy. Infact trueth be told I thought he was vair cool. I actually can remember helping him out with some "girl" (Kay) problems back in school. I'm nothing but nice to people unless they give me a decent enough reason to stop that pleasentry, Which doesn't happen often.
I've found that people are now starting to talk about me as if I'm some "Big mean Wolf"... But it's really not the case. I would only use what I know and have learnt if there is simply no other way... And in this kind of situation, is it really so criminal to steal someones hate?

"Love is an illusion of hate". Thinking on that logic then all I'd have to do is alter a few things, to drownd that hate in something light, Like love. However some peoples ethics on "Brainwashing" are so stubborn ;D But I see their point, even I only consider it if there is simply no other way.

So I'll leave on this note.

When an avenger acts on their hate, it scars the people around them. And believe me, I put people ahead of myself... So I would try my hardest not to let that happen. Mainly as hurting the people around me would be hurting me directly. Just ask Conor :P

Anywho, I'm now sick of thinking about this...
Byee xx

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Just one of those days...

Hey people.

I supose it's just been a few of them "Fuck it" kinda days. I really cannot be bothered to try please other people that don't appreciate or return the effort. To be honest, I am really thinking alot now. I'm listening to ...

Evanescence - The last song I'm wasting on you (8)

"Demanding my responce, Don't bother breaking the door down, I've found my way out, and you'll never hurt me again..." :/ True lyrics, Now I'm over things like this, I supose I can't be hurt. Expecially through something so meaningless like Love.

"Love is nothing more then an illusion of hate..."

Ooooooh yeah, I just found out something which has actually made me very excited, Someone wanting to hurt me. I think that I really shouldn't rise to it... But really, This person knows what I'm capable of, Not physically, but mentally :)

Hmmmmmm, What would you do if everything that you've loved is melting away. Somehow when I try to make things better, they end up worse. So what if I give in trying all together? I know that I wont get anything in return because people are really all the same. They're only a few people I know that don't act like true humans. And that's the way I like it, People who have supassed the need to act human, people who think what other people cannot...

I'm listening to Evanescence - You (8) now...

"The words have been drained from this pencil,S weet words that I want to give you, And I can't sleep, I need to tell you... Goodnight. When we're together I feel perfect, When I'm pulled away from you, I fall apart. What ever you say is sacred to me, You're eyes are so blue, I can't look away..." :/

I really shouldn't listen to such depressing songs... But when it's all you've got, you find it hard to strip away from the depression and the hurt. When it's all you have left to hold on to, You suffer from it. You drownd yourself in it. And even when you have people to help you through it... You still hold onto the hurt. Because its the only thing that you have left from those people...

Hmmmm, Time for me to go now :P

Scotty <3

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