Second Chances

Hey guys!

I guess it's another one of those night. Lately i've been in a state of confusion and upset. =/ I wish I could some answers from this whole thing, but strangley i'm not, or there are no answers which personally I believe over my other theory.

Okay, This is me and Lora >>>>>>
And although we haven't had such good times lately, I recon that this is all too confusing for me to understand. No, comprehending it would be an easy concept if it was said properly. Though I'm kind of irritated, she is still one of my best friends, and although things aren't clear yet, we'll find a way to break through the structures of the people around us. That way we'll be able to talk with clear heads, and maybe this time they'll be no blood shed. =/

However, saying that... I admit she does have some right to be irritated, if not angry with me. I can see that now, after all I've spent the last few nights looking from the inside out, so I think I can start to see things clearly for what they are. If not, I'm still weak from the illness. But let me assure everyone, when I make a promise, they're always kept, and if people don't know that then people don't know me.

On the other hand, I've always found it irritating when people think they know me when actually they know nothing about me. Sometimes the masks people you see are put there for people to notice, and be tricked into a false confidence about that other person. But how can you read someone with twenty-seven masks? ... And only one true person.

You can't, Not properly.

Hmmmm, that's all I can say from the irritated side of me...

Ohhhh!
Another thing, the party the other night I can't remember, I think I drank too much x]

For the time being, healing is the biggest part of my worries, to the hell for everyone else right now, Now is the time to focus on me. And for the first time in my life, I'll have to do it.

Scotty <3

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Bonds

Hey guys!!

Well the past few days have been BUSY! Not only have I had the pleasure of seeing Little Laura Heard again, but I've had alot of laughs with Louise, Jodie, Shaun, Lora, Lh and many more friends that I hold dear to me. <3>Where do I start?

First of all, We had a rehearsal for the "Ilkestons Got Talent!" competition, which went very well, along with the rave afterwards. There's only so many times you can fail the CHA -CHA slide ;P
The next day, Me and Shaun decided to meet up with the famous Laura Heard and Kimmy ;D (Don't know her last name ;]). We went to the park, almost killed myself on the swings and then went to get the MUNCH!
Then came Alan Carr, we watched the tooth fairy show ;P and me and Lh basically wet our self, "I thought someone had bombed liddle, Seriously!". ;D

Hmmmmmmm.

TONIGHT!

Is going to be our "Leaving School piss up", which we will have TOOOO many people in a small tent ;L Haha. ;L

Any who, that is all for the past few days ;P
I'll update soon, thank you for reading.

Scotty <3

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Rave && Rhymes

Hey there ;)

It's been a brilliant day today, Me, Lora, Louise, Jodie and Shaun have had a raving day. Music, Snacks, Dancing... What more does it take to be happy :P

I've been working on a poem, Well it's not really a poem, YOU decide what it is!

"After my long deliberation,
I've given in my resignation,
To this corrupted nation,
And this rotten world.

Even with our inept decisions,
We can't see through these illusions,
Which blind our vision,
And cloud our thoughts and judgement.

With this light hearted information,
I can see you're exclamation,
And determine you're execution,
For you're not here anymore".

Even though I've given up in my fight to get better, I'm still happier knowing that I don't know the outcome. I find people knowing what will happen is boring. You can't spend you're life wondering what will happen next, You just have to get on with it :D

Not much for today, Sorry guys <3

Scotty <3

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Together-ness

Hey again!

Today has been a day full of togetherness. First of all I went down to my grandmothers, where most of the family was helping her move the furniture around and helping out :)
Then I had a surprise when my friends Kimmy and Luke came to visit me, It had been along time since I saw them and it was a great time. We spent time on the parrkkk in the Rain! and then went to get the munch and watched the Lee Evans Big Tour :D
Amazing guy.

Another great thing today, The new album "Common Dreads" by Enter Shikari, One of my all time favourite bands has just been released. After the Pre-release of "Juggernaught" from the album came out, I knew I would be addicted.
I first saw the advert on the telenision, and RAN to my computer to look at it and listen to it, So far,

IT'S LIKE NOTHING I'VE HEARD BEFORE!

It's genious :L

"I know that we still got time, And I do not think we're invincable, The Idea of community will be something to display in a museam" <3 I love this new album, and recommend it to ANYONE.

A few qoutes that've helped me this week:

• "Whether it's the friends you choose, or the friends that choose you. A friend is someone who can understand, and want the best for you, and the problem is when you do get hurt by those you love. Is it just the sort of people that your friends are like, or do you choose the wrong people".
• "The lions are at the door, We aint taking orders from snakes no more".
• "If more then one person says that I'm doing something wrong, What the hell did I do wrong so much that I'm not aware of it?".
• "The biggest mistake a person can make, is not saying what needs to be said, as we all know they're alot of things that are never said, so don't stop until you've had your say".

Haha, I would like to take this oppertunity to thank any readers on my blog, and would also like to ask for comments, Thankyou :).

Scotty <3

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Blissful-ness

Hey people.

I would have never expected something like today to actually happen. Today was spent in alot of peace and quiet.

First of all, I had my Religious Studies exam, I felt it went alright, nothing to bad in it, I'll do fine. Then I hung around with possibly my oldest friend, Jack :)

Tehe, Then the un-comprahendable parts. Me and my friend Shaun decided to go on our impulses which led us to a cemetary, where I tried to locate my Great Grand parents, and my Great Uncle Fred. However, we didn't find them, but felt we were close. Then we moved to a space of grass that to the ordinary eye was nothing, but it used to be a lake that our old Chaucer Infants friends enjoyed many summers ago.

All in all a great day, I was just amazed by the amount of peace and bliss that I felt, especially since I didn't feel like it after the exam. The lack of interaction between me and my best friends have been very little, and even more decreased since a certian somebody walked in and gave everything a twist. However, despite this, it was just ... Too peacefull. Like finally finding mental peace. ^^

Thankyou, Sorry for the short update, however I'm busy all tomorrow, So i'll update on that tomorrow night, until then...

Scotty <3

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Right For Right

Hey Gang :)

I wanted to talk about a right for a right. It's been on my mind recently that if an action that is right for you, and not right for someone else, should it be considered?
Typically speaking I don't think like a normal person would, I don't have a need to protect myself from things, with saying that I don't feel the need to hide parts of myself neither. What i'm trying to say is:

"Say you have to take an action, you don't want to do this, but you know you have to get inbetween some people in order to get better, what do you do?"

What I've been thinking is that even if you considered it, they are always going to be loop holes in your actions, and if people look hard enough they're really obvious. However we judge our friends on how they treat you back, and the main thing in a friendship is; "If you was in their shoes, what would you do in order to not hurt that person?". I can saftely say that most people would take a selfish route and determine their actions on the logic of if the outcome would be better for themselves. However, I would choose to take an action that helps both myself and that other person, no matter how much I would hate to do that action, if it's for the good of the cause, it should be done.
However, I can say that in the past few weeks the amount of people that take in anything that I say are has decreased to almost 2 or 3 people. It's not that I expect people to listen to what I want to say, or what I want. It's just I feel that as a human being we all have the right to speak for ourselves, and if people don't truly listen to your case, ignorant veiws are made, and those actions are completely twisted into something that would only hurt myself.
With that logic in mind, I am more about listening to others and co-operating to save any just-cause. On the other hand, very few people think like me therefore, the selfish option is completely unavoidable, leaving the one option left:

"The action must be carried out, in the most subtle way possible for sanitiy."

On to more recent events, this week has been a real sun shine :) I've spent most of my week out around the town, enjoying the veiws why kids are at school. I never would of thought it to be so peacful during school hours :D
Though, I do have bad sunburn D;

Haha, Until next time. ;)

Scotty <3

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Definition Of A Hero

Hey people!

I just wanted to talk about Heroism today. Whether a hero is someone you look up to, or somebody you have always admired, the term means different things to alot of people. For example, a hero for me is someone who I can stay strong for. Someone I know I need to be strong for emotionally and physically because of the bonds that we share, this is my hero.
However, more and more people get entwined with the fantasy hero, the one with super strength that rescues people :) Though I want that to be true, i'm affraid I go after an Emotional Hero :) Someone to lift the burden of my emotional spillage and help me further towards happiness.

So, Talking on a more personal note, I am finishing school next thursday :D I'm very excited, all the free time is a real relief after the exams I have taken. However, three more to go I'm affraid, tomorrow is my physic's paper. I've done all I can to prepare, so I should be fine, Wish me Luck (Y).
A couple of weeks ago, I had stopped my search for the return of love. However, I've decided that in my best interest it is time to overlook that barrier and sreach for my hero. Although, in my time of sitting back and letting other people go for it, no one will ever determine what people feel on the inside fully, there'll always be something there that it comepletely un-readable and un-comprehendable. Hopefully though, my search shouldn't take long :)
Another event I'm going crazy about, Prom. July 29th 2009 my year eleven prom. I know it won't be the prom of my dreams, though I hope that'll come around, as It would make me SO happy and SO lucky to have it. I'm going with my friend, she's kind, loving and caring :) I just love her Haha. So it'll be a good night, if not then an interesting one for the person on the other side ;)

I hope you've enjoyed reading my posts, please send some comments for feedback :)

Scotty <3

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The Future

Hey Guys.

Sorry I've not updated lately, I've been through some things lately and I've been very busy :)
Forgive me ? :D

Haha, So I wanted to speak about the Future?
Do you believe it can be fortold by cards and other gifts?
Or do you believe that there isn't anything like fate in the world.

Well, I believe that out actions atleast have some guideline here on earth. However, I also believe in Karma, and the two theorys clash. If something bad was to happen to you, and it went back to the other person, surely it couldn't react properly because it wasn't designed in the plans to make that change.
However contraversial fate is, does it matter anyway?
If you live ideally in the present and you have someone there that you care about, and others that you caer about like friends, family and other people you know, does it completely matter what you're life will turn out like. As you can see, I am living in the moment. Which is a new development for me as I've never tried to do this. I've always tried to live in the past, which we all know just hurts and never really has a good outcome. However at this moment in time, I'm always going out with my friends, I'm always having fun. I'm loosing ALOT of weight and i'm starting to reach a point were I am happy. Not completely happy, just a distraction, however it's the closest i've gotten in a very long time, and I like it. Although, it all rests on the decision of one person, which to be very honest is a hard and difficult position, I personally wouldn't like to be that person, however I trust this person with my life. And ultimately enjoy company from my friends.
So even with new developments in my life, when you start to live for the moment, things become clear. I've been able to think alot clearly and move around without having any doubt in my mind that I'll be let down by someone I love :)

I just want to say thankyou, to this person, She knows who she is, as for all my friends, Thankyou again. And I want to say for anyone reading my blog, thankyou. I shall continue writting :)

<3 Scotty.

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A Have A Problem!

Dear people whoever cares.

I have a biggg problem. How do you show somebody that the person they think so much of, is nothing but a shadow of the former thinker they once was. =/
My situation is getting tougher, and if I don't do anything now it'll be too late. And no matter who I tell this to, no body understand it all. =/

What do you do when all you want is something that you can't have, but is infront of your eyes?
How do you tell someone how you really feel?
How do you make somebody see sense?
What do you have to do to make you're dreams happen?
How do you tell that person you want a future?
What do you say when you mean you don't care?
How do I tell you that I need you?
How do I tell you that I want you?
What do I tell you when you ask me how I'm feeling?
How do I tell you I'm going insane apart from you?
What do I say to you when You ask me kindly?
When you're in need of help, How do I tell you it'll destroy me?

These are the questions I need answering :(
But sadly, Nobody can answer them...

Sorry for the depressing blog, I eneded to vent some things, I swear I'll make it up to you tomorrow <3 Lack of sleep :(

Scotty <3

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Moving On

Hey people!

Okay, so today I have only been awake for an hour, literally. And it's come to my attention that I really wanted to talk about Moving on. I know that this will sound really dodgey, but bare with me okay.

Kso, Moving on can be not only a hard thing to do, but a hard thing to watch. If you had a pet that just passed away, or anything like that situation, it could be a very draining process, and something that can only happen with time. However, with saying that some people can't move on and they've living in the past. Is this wrong?
Speaking from experience, it can be very hurtful, because the people and things from the past might not be here anymore, they might not be in the present. As for moving on my history on it isn't superb.

I just wanted to say that random peice of factual information ;D.

Right, So last night I'ev started reading about Paganism, through a book written by "Soraya", a world famous pagan. And I've got to tell you, it really does appeal to me. I know that I don't believe in god, but a power all around us. But that's just me, I'm hardly a christian example :)

So I'll keep you updated on how thats going, and I also wanted to share with you these qoutes that I've been thinking over and over and over again :)

"Just like a flower, we are never the same, and as the flower grows, we learn that it isn't the life we cheerish, it is the other folowers we meet
along the way, as we all grow for the younger generations to reinact the circle" Scotty <3

"As we grow emotionally into enlightenment, we learn that the past is not relavent, and we learn that the future cannot be fore told, but the present
can be lived through until all three cease from existence" Scotty <3

"Sometimes the hardest thing to do, and the right thing to do are a mixture of the fact that you are confussed. However, if you don't know what's
easy and whats wrong, you must realise the situation for what it is. Is it just the fact that you are incapable to make up your mind, or do you
just want to hurt other people." Scotty <3

"Giving up is the easiest thing in the world, anybody can give up at any time. However, staying together in a time when others expect you to fall,
this the true strength within you." Scotty <3

"Nothing compares to the sweet sense of satisfaction in a hard worked situation, however within the circles of our realtity we still dweal on
hope and love alone. To stop this would destroy us, we are yet these monsters to become." Scotty <3

"A person without emotion is no person at all, but a mere mask of the deeper feeling of a human." Scotty <3

Thankyou for reading.
Scotty <3

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Family Values and Break Up Morals.

Hey there again.

So the past few days have been extremelt hard for me, I've not got anyone there for me anymore, and I ust feel like im in isolation from my friends as somethings gone off and they're drifting away. But I spent today with my family, and descovered that family are really important, and that I regret not trying to meet up with them, because you never be to sure on what could happen in the future.
I went to my Grans and discovered somethings about my family history. Today me and mum became like best friends, and we went out to the shops, and came back to watch a film. However, although I don't talk to my parents and family as much as I should, could it change any aspect of my life at this moment in time?

Sorry to get depressive on you xD

Right, another thing that I have been told about today. What exactly are the morals on breakups? If someone cheats on you, are you supossed to forgive them and banish any ideas that are against you're "Love" for that person. Or are you supossed to get some justice and fall away from them, and realise who you're real friends are.
Real friends come along once in a life time, and even after someone proves themselves as that person, are you supossed to carry on and crawl back into the arms of the person that hurt you last.

In my opinion no, no, no, no and no. If someone hurts you, you should get a reason and you should fall away from them, and not forgive them. But then again, it depends on the kind of situation. =/

Anyways, sorry to get depressive on you guys, long day and no sleep. Yeah, i'm still not sleeping anymore, I get like 4-5 hours a night, that's bad right?

Scotty <3

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Haha, A day of nothing-ness :)

Hey guys.

Well today was the best day of my life! I did nothing :(
Haha, Literally nothing, I woke up... ate... watched television... and I'm on the computer now :) Bad right?
Haha.

I just wanted to share somethings, I'm starting to write my poetry again, which means I might post some on this blog in the near future :)
Ontop of that, I'm starting to write some philosophical phrases, I might also add them on here.

UPDATE: You may also notice that I have an artwork site, yes please look at it :) I've been told it's worth the look, many friends (Big thanks to Marius) have said that my artwork is coming along with alot of progress. I've only been designing 3 weeks in total, and I feel i've done very well in that time :)

"Is it impossible for the weed to grow into a flower, or is it the lack of hope and belief that stop the transformation?" Scotty.

Actually that has a very double sided truth. On one side if you believe you have hope and you can change your lif for the better, you can do so in a very short time. After all, control is yours for the taking, if you don't have control, then you'll get no where in life. However, If you've been through alot in the past few years, like me. Hope and belief are something that wear thin after you've had so many troubling times, you just run out of it eventually and when that happens, there isn't really anything good to look for. Life without hope is just an existence. Life without love is hell. :)

True words, Just too cool :D

*More artwork coming soon* :)

Stay updated.

Scotty <3

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Today I am tired!

Hey guys ;P
I'm seriously tired today, not only did I only get like 3 hours sleep, I also had an English Exam that I aced :)
Haha, But seriously I really am tired and I really need to start promoting this site.

Hmmmm.
This is you're situation, what would you do?

"You've just had a friend come to you willing to help you out in your time of need, you think yes this can only be a good thing. And then you find out that this friend is not only using you for company and help, but you start developing feeling for this person, and then you make the mistake of trying something sexual with that person, and he enjoys it but then comes to his senses and leaves."

Haha, My friend Jane is wondering what to do, and at this very moment I cannot for the life of me think of an answer. But then again, what I'd do is just try to ask that person how they felt, and then try it again and if it happens again then move on, there's no point in worrying over someone who clearly doesn't need it. Especially if this person is giving you emotional help :)

I've just finished re-modeling my Art work folder on Facebook.

Check it out and tell me what you think, which reminds me I need to re-model the pictures on this site :) :D (Y)



<3

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My Blog Campign.

I'm planning on doing a blog each day, most proberly more than that, I love writing and I love blogging :D
However, it all depends on the amount of feed back, and the amount of people that visit the site, If you do come on here and enjoy what you read, please invite your friends or email buddies :)
:)

You're all very welcome to add my msn, myspace, facebook or tagged :)

Haha, I hope you enjoy this campign :)

Tehe

<3

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Start of my Blog.

Hey there, First blog on the site :) Haha.
Hmmm, To start off, I'll tell you alittle about myself.

I'm scotty, Scotty-pie! Scotteh or Scotteth :P Whichever you prefer.
Blue eyes, Blonde hair, Big Heart <3
I will listen to everyone and everything, Trust me... I've heard it all before :)
I'm in a Rock Band, "Ultraviolet Overdose"!
I play the bass gutiar :)
I'm a philosipher ;D
And I love having fun.

Now it's your turn, Leave comments telling me about yourself. :)

<3

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