Eyes of the abyss!

Hey guys.

Well i've finally got the time to update my blog, its been a while but its getting done. The past few months have been great, they've been filled with laughter and joy, untill a few weeks ago... Everything is going down hill and vair fast.

Everyone tells me things will be alright, everything will get better it just takes time. That i must stay in control and must stay positive... But its not too easy when everyday is bleak and dark. It's not even possible to not cry all the time when i'm alone, and even when i'm with people, i'm still alone and still tore up.

I've only just recently found out my best friend has been lieing and using me for the past month or so... And yet how can he see that its not his fault... How can he see that everything he's done has ruined me, its like he's pulling my strings from the dark, making me do things that are normally un-reasonable... And yet why does no one else see it either? Howcome no-one will speak for those that cannot... It's pretty sick tbf ;/ Espesh considering the fact all i've ever done is help him, help everyone around him and clean up his own messes when i can't even handle it myself...

I know i always say the bad things but their are the good times. He's not a bad person, he knows wrong from right. He's saved my life 3 times now, and if it wasn't for him being such a big part in my life then i wouldn't have gotten this far. Not to mention the fact because of our talents our bands music and stigma are immense. The only problem is the bad times over lok the good, because they're worse then anything imaginable. They've taken over me at this moment in time, and i don't even know what to say to him or how to react when i talk to him later... Shouting and cursing isn't something i wanna do, i wanna talk to him as calm as i can be, but how can i do so if he's really fucked things up ;/

We shall see.
Love Scotty.
A friend in need.
xxx