The Immortal I haven't found.

Hey bloggers ;)

My christmas was alright ;D Mainly because i didn't get any sleep that night, stayed up all night and opened prezzie early in the morning.

I got ::

A elec' guitar.
A ticket to Marilyn Manson and Lost Prophets. New straightners.
New hairdryer.
Alot of aftershave and doederant ;)
New phone.
Alot of chocchoc.
Ripleys believe it or not book.
New headphones for the drums (Y).
Amongst other things ;D



Hmmmmmm. Listening to Evanescence - Bring me to life.



So yeah moving on from Christmas, i've gotten myself in abit of a tight spot tbf, I've just gotten over James and Josh and what happened with them ;/ But now I just feel empty, like I'm a shell that could crack at any second, and it isn't really a nice feeling D;








Evanescence - My Immortal ''When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears, When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears, When I held your hand through all of these years, you still have al of me!''






So last night was funny, got drunk at Jade's with Laurie, Conor and Ryse hahaha ;D T'was fun actually, though I did go to the park for an hour by myself, sorry for the phone call Lora (Y) ;) I just needed to hear someone talk sense mwhahahaha! :D








Okay so that's about it bloggers ;D
'till next time (Y)
Scotty <3

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Content with Loneliness...

Hey guys :)

Well today has been pretty fun. Didn't get up untill 2:30pm, I get myself ready and get rushed off to Notts with Lukey :)

Got two new lip barsn for my snakeys, and then have a look around for Lukey's GF's chrimbo present (Try saying that when your drunk haha) and then went to subway (Y)

Went to heanor, went to see someone that didn't even know I existed and then to lukes for guitarhero, equalsthree and cider mwhahahahah!

Went home and just got in for some relaxing time. Sometimes I hate being alone, it gives you time to think, and when you think you ask questions that you know is gonna upset you, mainly because you get no answers. ;/


Listening to Paramore - Playing god.

''Next time you point the finger I'll bend it back and might just break it break it, Next time you point the finger i'll point it to the mirror'' <3

So yeah i don't really feel in the christmassy mood yet, maybe it'll hit me ;L But untill then I gotta just work up a smile and say 'Merry christmas' hahaha ;D











Hmmmmmm.

It was nice spending sometime with Lora the other day, had to leave her with Kimmy and Kursty for abit whilst I sorted out some things which I know she didn't really appreciate, but I had no other choice, I was thirst.

Saw Andrei and Andy AND Josh down there, so t'was vair amusing :)

I know things aint really been the same between us ever since Josh came along, but tbf things change and people change. But it's not gonna affect anything, she's still one of my BEST Girl friends ;L hahaha. Along with Jodie, Cherryne, Doodle and Bibbs. :)

OOOOOHHHHHHH!

Lost prophets in February! I think Lh is coming but not too sure, it'll be well fun.

Me+Booze+Rockcity=FUNFUNFUN!

:D
Merry christmas, Scotty <3

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Hmmmmm. Ponders a name!

Hey y'all :)

God has the past few weeks been so tough :/ It's just one of those days when you really need your close friends with you, stamping around town and eating Oreo's :/ Unfortunatley I don't have that anymore. I got these guys >>>>>

Jade&&Kimmy.
Close friends FTW<3

I just feel like crawling so far under a rock, no one will ever find me again :/ Not after all this, and I really don't wanna show my face tomorrow at college either.

When you give someone a second chance, aren't they suposed to not mess things up? Not hurt you? Or is it just me that sticks to those kinda rules :/ Now thanks to someone just really not caring about anything or anyone, selfish bastard D; I'm left in the darkness, hurt and betrayed. And yet, I do nothing about it, I could hit him where it hurts ;) and it wouldn't hurt him. That's the thing with people like me, we're too nice :/

Another thing aswell, I really dislike Christmas ever since the wholse Courtney thing :/ I just don't feel up to it, spending a whole day pretending to be happy, when you have really no reason to lift a finger.

So pointless...

♫ Secondhand Serenade - A Twist In My Story♫

I can only listen to depressive love songs at the moment, I don't even know why I feel this bad, it's like the biggest part of my being has been stolen from me for a second time.

Another time that really has hurt me badly. Ontop of that other bastards are using it against me, being avoided and truly left behind whilst you all have your pretty convosations and you greatest dreams come true.

Enjoy it while it lasts because it wont last long =/
I assure you...

Sorry for the mood, Baiiii <3

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Heartbreak and loss...

Hey guys :/

The thing is about heartbreak is that it's always changing, always shifting its forms to hurt other people. It's something that cannot be seen, something that can be felt and always something that has meaning. Somepeople don't know what it's like, But the truth is I do.

I've spent 2/3 years of my lief in constant hope and love to this one person. All she ever did was turn me away, say that it's her fault, when the fact is I wasn't strong enough for her, so I decided to change... Get stronger, always hoping that one day I could stand beside her, and not behind her like always. Even now I'll remember her face, the way that her hair swung around down to her neck and her lovely shoulders. What I'm getting at is, it hurts like nothing else. Like you should have the heart to say something, but all that comes out is blank misunderstood words. It's like someone took the fire from the sun, it's unbareable...

You could spend your whole existence mourning over the loss of someone or something, but it isn't going to change the fact that they're gone. I've waited my time... Training... Gaining strength, And I feel I'm strong enough to take on such a 'Heavy Burden'.

I live my life through Agape 'Love' and it's shown me that hate and remorse are emotions that just make things worse. They can lead people to do stupid and malicious things... But we're all human at the end of the day.

What I'm saying is. I've tried my hardest to be strong and to be able to carry you through anything, Give me the chance to and I can show you that... :/ I've waited my time, Now it's time to let the past be the past, and let me show you the result of my training and work.

Ilu, Don't you ever forget it.
Scotty <3

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Out with the old, In with the new!

Hey all :)

Okay, So I decided to change the colours of a few things... Got bored of the red, starting to dislike it. I dislike the colour Red, the colour of anger and hatred... Bleh, so I went with my favourite colour Green, the colour of nature and calmness :D

God, I've had an immense weekend :) I wouldn't of changed anything...

Friday night:
Basically met with Luke Hart and Ryse Blant, went to Laurie's but she wasn't in she was uptown. Went to take Luke home and ran into Kimmy, had a lovely chat. Luke went home and then we waited for Kim's bus home, when we ran into Conor Brooks ;D T'was a lovely chat, aint seen him in some time, should be seeing him next week cause he owes me ;D
Went to meet Jade, James and Charlotte nest down at Co-Op, god I wasn't in such a good mood then... Got dragged to talk to Jade&James, t'wasn't what I wanted or needed, eitherway... Ended up in me blacking out, stumbling to the park and then smoking. James ran off, so I went to chase him, jumped over a hedge thing and then bruised my hip D; Then ran into Laurie&Tash. They came out with us for abit, after messing around on a park for a few hours, we decided go to Jades house, where stuff cracked off that really isn't my place to say :/

Vair Early Saturday Morning:
Originally Ryse was staying at mine, but due to a few bad experiences with people down near my end, we decided to take a taxi back to Clifton to Ryse's house and stay there. This was at what... 4am ? ;D On a taxi to nottingham LOL! After getting to Ryse's house, we had a few drinks, a few fags then fell asleep about 9am :D

Saturday Afternoon:
We got into Nottingham town about 2pm after getting ours selves sorted. We met Laurie&Tash&Jade&Charlotte in the top floor of Subway haha :DWe walked around town for abit, went for something to eat, then I ran into my best friend DOODLE (Boobs) ;D So I went around with them for about an hour and then got back with the others. T'was dead funny cause I miss her so much and I really wanted to see her, and where else? Outside of Pulp ;D

Saturday Evening:
After getting back to Ilkeston for about Half 6, Laurie&Tash&Jade*Me decided to go watch NewMoon, so we did our hair and got something to eat at my house, then went to watch it up at Le Scala, and it was AMAZING, Still not as good as the book, but I don't think it will ever be. I ended up crying twice D; HAHAHA, Jade fell asleep half way through ;D After the film, I met an old friend outside, Azy (Y) Spoke to him, Decided I needed some sleep, go in and drifted away :)

Yeah, I had a REALLY busy weekend but it was all EPIC! Untill today, when I got nothing to do really...

Lol, I got nothing really planned for next week either, except meeting Lora&Jess (Lora's new College Friendy) but I need to bring someone, so I'll find a date ;)

WoopWoop, Untill next time...
<3scotty<3

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Honestly nothing else...

Hey peeps ;L

God, I'm starting to hate all these situations cracking off at once. I've been stuck in the house for two fucking days now, and have been going out of my mind insane just because I haven't heard from someone... And then like today you get told so many things about that person, It really is gonna drive me the FUCK insane.

Honestly, What does it have to take for me to talk to that him, or even ring him... :/
FFS.
Actually, I'm gonna try and ring him now ;)

UGH!
All it keeps saying is that annoying fucking voice, 'Sorry it's not been possible to connect your call... Please try again later' FFS!!!

I swear if he don't come on msn tonight, or even facebook I will end up walking to his house in the middle of the night... Actually that'd be rather funny!

Anywho, I'll write tomorrow, Sorry for being angry...
<3 Scotty <3

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A Poem For A Special Person...

Hey all!

As i've been in such a good mood about something, or should I say someone... I decided to get creative and write a poem to express my feelings untill I say that person again ;)

For you <3

The world can be a dark and lonely road,
When you go at it alone,
I feel i'm in super strength mode,
Evertime that you phone,
It's not the feelings that I hide inside,
But the words that we abide,
And whatever it is that we share,
I know that I will still care,
Too much to stop right now,
But if you will let me allow,
Myself into your head,
Then words that are left unsaid,
Will be the strongest of all...


I've really had such a good week, me and lora are finally talking and getting along like best friends again. Even though we both really don't deserve it ;) I've met some wonderful people like Charlotte and plenty more, and i've really enjoyed myself. Last night was one of the best nights of my life, not because I hosted a party/booze up ;) But because I got to spend sometime with someone i really like, and for me that doesn't come around often. Although everything seems to be going fine, I still have many doubts and worries if this will continue, mainly I don't know what interferences we shall experience. Kinda like a plane with turbulence ;D

♫You Me At Six - If You Run ♫

♫They say that problems come, Come in pairs and I am number one, So take a look at your friends, Envy is a terrible thing♫

For a change I decided to go made on the colours tonight ;) Mwhahahahahahaaa.

Scotty <3

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A Pheonix creation

Hey people!

God it's been ages.

So lets start off with the bad for a change. Well the past few weeks/months have been real tough. With friends coming and going, people twisting things and all other choas going around. Stupid depression meetings and other shit but I think it's coming to an end. My goals in sight and I want it :)

Onto the better, I've really had a chance to sit down with myself, think and work out who I am. And I've come to realise my true friends think I'm so strong I could battle anything, My hearts so big it could cuddle millions and that i'm better then falling back down when the goings get tough.

I owe alot of credit to :

Laurie Smith.
Jade Fenton.
Sasha -Something-.
Kursty Booth.
Jade Mcqueen.
James Cross.
Jack Andrews.
Doodle.
Lora 'Vampy' Corser.
Jodie 'The Sex Maniac' Spall.
And Louise 'Loueth' Braddley.
And the rest that have kept me going, From the bottom of my heart I thankyou.

I'm currently waiting for my damn guitar to get here, Stupid Parcel Force!!! D;

Anyway, I'll write soon, Take care and ty.
Scotty
<3

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Complicated Destruction

Hey people! x]

Garrrr, Well I got myself stuck in this mess, even after I run in fear of my life, I'm braught back to the daunting memories and thoughts that I once locked away in my head :/ For some reason I feel as if I shouldn't really be doing anything right now, But I am... Thinking of a way to sort this mess out...

Hmmmmm... I'm not so naive, I have Conor and others, Family etc to live for, but at the same time I don't know if I could stand back and watch this mess unfold. I know that I have alot of self control, but Sebby doesn't. :/ Sometimes I wish that I really don't have to be involved with such hate filled intentions :/

First of all, On the good part of my blog... I've figured something out last night, and then told Conor this morning after I had the pleasure of being rudley awakened... Whilst being less then half dressed xD ...

"A heart filled with Hated, Greed, Lust and power is something not worth fighting for... But a hear filled with love, compasion, care and light is something worth dieing for".

I know that when it comes to situations, some people cannot forgive. I know this I've been through this countless of times, Andrei being one of those times. But still I have learnt that those people who are swallowed up by their lust and hatred are really the victims here. When someone is taken in by such daunting emotions, they become un-aware of the damage they cause everyone around them. And for that single reason is why I try my hardest not to act on behalf of my dark emotions.

At this moment in time, I'm still unaware of what to do concerning this "Hurtful" situation. Personally I don't see what this is all about, I really do not have anything against this guy. Infact trueth be told I thought he was vair cool. I actually can remember helping him out with some "girl" (Kay) problems back in school. I'm nothing but nice to people unless they give me a decent enough reason to stop that pleasentry, Which doesn't happen often.
I've found that people are now starting to talk about me as if I'm some "Big mean Wolf"... But it's really not the case. I would only use what I know and have learnt if there is simply no other way... And in this kind of situation, is it really so criminal to steal someones hate?

"Love is an illusion of hate". Thinking on that logic then all I'd have to do is alter a few things, to drownd that hate in something light, Like love. However some peoples ethics on "Brainwashing" are so stubborn ;D But I see their point, even I only consider it if there is simply no other way.

So I'll leave on this note.

When an avenger acts on their hate, it scars the people around them. And believe me, I put people ahead of myself... So I would try my hardest not to let that happen. Mainly as hurting the people around me would be hurting me directly. Just ask Conor :P

Anywho, I'm now sick of thinking about this...
Byee xx

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Just one of those days...

Hey people.

I supose it's just been a few of them "Fuck it" kinda days. I really cannot be bothered to try please other people that don't appreciate or return the effort. To be honest, I am really thinking alot now. I'm listening to ...

Evanescence - The last song I'm wasting on you (8)

"Demanding my responce, Don't bother breaking the door down, I've found my way out, and you'll never hurt me again..." :/ True lyrics, Now I'm over things like this, I supose I can't be hurt. Expecially through something so meaningless like Love.

"Love is nothing more then an illusion of hate..."

Ooooooh yeah, I just found out something which has actually made me very excited, Someone wanting to hurt me. I think that I really shouldn't rise to it... But really, This person knows what I'm capable of, Not physically, but mentally :)

Hmmmmmm, What would you do if everything that you've loved is melting away. Somehow when I try to make things better, they end up worse. So what if I give in trying all together? I know that I wont get anything in return because people are really all the same. They're only a few people I know that don't act like true humans. And that's the way I like it, People who have supassed the need to act human, people who think what other people cannot...

I'm listening to Evanescence - You (8) now...

"The words have been drained from this pencil,S weet words that I want to give you, And I can't sleep, I need to tell you... Goodnight. When we're together I feel perfect, When I'm pulled away from you, I fall apart. What ever you say is sacred to me, You're eyes are so blue, I can't look away..." :/

I really shouldn't listen to such depressing songs... But when it's all you've got, you find it hard to strip away from the depression and the hurt. When it's all you have left to hold on to, You suffer from it. You drownd yourself in it. And even when you have people to help you through it... You still hold onto the hurt. Because its the only thing that you have left from those people...

Hmmmm, Time for me to go now :P

Scotty <3

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A Happy time

Hey people!

So if you have read my facebook, or know something that's happened recently. I'm currently extremely happy... However there is only two ends to this mess. Me being happy, Utterly and truly happy ... Or me being worse then I am now. And to people who know how I am... It's something that I wanna avoid at all costs, because the risks are getting higher and higher. And after everything I've been through and still am going through, Don't you all agree I should be happy for once? :/

Haha, I'm listening to "Love story - The Scence Asthetics". And it's raining outside, it always rains when I'm in these kinda situations... I've noticed that, But I love the rain. It's cold, and wet ;P And it always seems to clear my head, like the rain washes the bad outta my body. Neat aye ? :)

Scotty <3

(Y) Happiness at last :D

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An Unrelated Story

Hey Guys!

:L Haha, Like I said, More regulary. Bleh, The past few days have been very bleh! Somethings have really been getting me down, but I really haven't been able to bring it up with anyone,a ccept last night. I swear to god I am never drinking vodka again D;

Last night I saw my favourite star light up the sky, it went supernova :( Meaning it could die :'( And tbh it is such an unrelated story, but it really has brought up some things ;/ Which is kinda weird, but thena gain when have I ever been normal HAHAA! The same old story really, you know the story... The one where the blonde boy has to suffer heart break and no matter how much he grows stronger or smarter nothing ever changes. The poor blonde boy ends up finding someone who he thinks can get him through this nightmaric life, and past mistakes... But unfortunatly the blonde boy gets hurt even more... and it continues like this untill the poor blonde boy ends up cold and gray. ;/

You know the story by now :) And even though scenes and characters change, the story remains the same, no matter how much it'd mean to poor blonde boy, not even if it could save his life. Make him normal, give him the strength to make himself not-insane anylonger, but it doesn't happen. Every time ;/

Hmmm, And then all blonde boy's friends just tell him she'he will come along and take me outta his nightmare, but unfortunatly blonde boy only has untill he's 17 to find somebody. Poor blonde boy isn't too happy. But when has he ever been ? ;(

Love Scotty <3

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A tough time

Hey guys, Long time no speak! D:

Don't worry, I'm planning on writing every two days :) So you'll always be updated, I've fallen outta rythme with things, That's really bad. So this season is going to be more of a rant.

Those of you that know me, Also know that these past months and years have been really hard to cope with, and even if you didn't know what happened. You've probably been told a few things about me...

To be honest, the worst things at the moment is me keeping my head in check, I'm starting to feel unstable and again, and are just looking for a way to let out my feelings, and I forgot all about my blog, that's what I made it for in the first place x]

To start off with, why can't things ever be simple for me. As soon as I EVER! get a taste of happiness, it always turns into dust only a few minutes or hours later, why can't anything stay still in my life. Because let's face it, if me and this certain person did continue seeing each other after my birthday, then it would have been better for both of us. But it's the story of my life to be fair, i'll always be unhappy because people don't see happiness within me.

Another thing that's annoyed me, I know that I can help out considerably with my friends problems... Mainly as I give good advice, based on the fact that I've probably been there and done that. Although ohelping other people out with their problems is a distraction to my own, Who can I go to with my problems? ... A good friend along time ago said I needed someone like myself to complete the cycle, but after much thought. I realised that I just need someone who will always be there for me, and that when they say that it's not just false words, they'd mean it. And to be honest I do, Conor, Megan and Kimmy, Luke, Laurie, Chloe and some more are really there for me, and I didn't quite know how much they cared. Even some of my old school friends, Lora and Louise care considerably about me. Even people who i'm distant to because they're always traveling like Laura Heard and them, They do care for me. And I didn't know about it untill tonight, and I'd like to take this opportunity to thank each and everyone of you that care for me, and it would be muchly appreciated if you could tell me please :)

Yes I have a new msn, And I don't mind being spammed on it ;D
:: Va-Scot-A-Raptor@hotmail.co.uk

So thats it on my update, Thankyou everbody.
I'll update soon, Every two days...
I promise.
Thankyou <3

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Time away

Hmmm, Hey people.

Sorry I have not spoke in a while, alot of things have gone off and I needed some time away from all the bad memories in both real life and on the internet. :L If you know me it's a very obvious reason. :)

Sometimes I wished that things would have come back to how they were. But no, I always have to hold back even with my friends, I can never say what I want, when I want. I can't do what I need to do to be happy because I have friends, family and now an underling. :)

So I wanna talk about some new people, Well not new, Just people I'd never thought of talking to or about from normal.

Conor : The nicest guy you could ever meet. And I'm being serious, he's helped me so much in just a few weeks that I've known him, He is kinda alot like me, Even now since I'm teaching him :P I hope he grows and blooms into a decent bloke, he deserves it.
Kimmy : Kimmmyyyy (L) I love her, she is literally like a sister to me, Mainly as we both have blonde hair and blue eyes. And she looks after me, Like I to her. Especially cause we're known as the "Tesco Stalkers" after or staling adventures over guys and girls in there :P
Jade : What can I say about her, She's awesome, always round at my house to rave with me and have a right laugh. She really does cheer me up, You all do x] I wish you the best with Chris (L)

Hmmmm, Alot of other things have gone off too in the past few weeks. I've fallen out, Or pushed away from alot of people that only want me for somethin of there desire. And other things that have gone off that are just too painful to stay around...

Lora, Andrei ETC... I really cba to mention anymore ;P

Okay, I'll be writing alot more recently, Promise (L)

Scotty <3

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Second Chances

Hey guys!

I guess it's another one of those night. Lately i've been in a state of confusion and upset. =/ I wish I could some answers from this whole thing, but strangley i'm not, or there are no answers which personally I believe over my other theory.

Okay, This is me and Lora >>>>>>
And although we haven't had such good times lately, I recon that this is all too confusing for me to understand. No, comprehending it would be an easy concept if it was said properly. Though I'm kind of irritated, she is still one of my best friends, and although things aren't clear yet, we'll find a way to break through the structures of the people around us. That way we'll be able to talk with clear heads, and maybe this time they'll be no blood shed. =/

However, saying that... I admit she does have some right to be irritated, if not angry with me. I can see that now, after all I've spent the last few nights looking from the inside out, so I think I can start to see things clearly for what they are. If not, I'm still weak from the illness. But let me assure everyone, when I make a promise, they're always kept, and if people don't know that then people don't know me.

On the other hand, I've always found it irritating when people think they know me when actually they know nothing about me. Sometimes the masks people you see are put there for people to notice, and be tricked into a false confidence about that other person. But how can you read someone with twenty-seven masks? ... And only one true person.

You can't, Not properly.

Hmmmm, that's all I can say from the irritated side of me...

Ohhhh!
Another thing, the party the other night I can't remember, I think I drank too much x]

For the time being, healing is the biggest part of my worries, to the hell for everyone else right now, Now is the time to focus on me. And for the first time in my life, I'll have to do it.

Scotty <3

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Bonds

Hey guys!!

Well the past few days have been BUSY! Not only have I had the pleasure of seeing Little Laura Heard again, but I've had alot of laughs with Louise, Jodie, Shaun, Lora, Lh and many more friends that I hold dear to me. <3>Where do I start?

First of all, We had a rehearsal for the "Ilkestons Got Talent!" competition, which went very well, along with the rave afterwards. There's only so many times you can fail the CHA -CHA slide ;P
The next day, Me and Shaun decided to meet up with the famous Laura Heard and Kimmy ;D (Don't know her last name ;]). We went to the park, almost killed myself on the swings and then went to get the MUNCH!
Then came Alan Carr, we watched the tooth fairy show ;P and me and Lh basically wet our self, "I thought someone had bombed liddle, Seriously!". ;D

Hmmmmmmm.

TONIGHT!

Is going to be our "Leaving School piss up", which we will have TOOOO many people in a small tent ;L Haha. ;L

Any who, that is all for the past few days ;P
I'll update soon, thank you for reading.

Scotty <3

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Rave && Rhymes

Hey there ;)

It's been a brilliant day today, Me, Lora, Louise, Jodie and Shaun have had a raving day. Music, Snacks, Dancing... What more does it take to be happy :P

I've been working on a poem, Well it's not really a poem, YOU decide what it is!

"After my long deliberation,
I've given in my resignation,
To this corrupted nation,
And this rotten world.

Even with our inept decisions,
We can't see through these illusions,
Which blind our vision,
And cloud our thoughts and judgement.

With this light hearted information,
I can see you're exclamation,
And determine you're execution,
For you're not here anymore".

Even though I've given up in my fight to get better, I'm still happier knowing that I don't know the outcome. I find people knowing what will happen is boring. You can't spend you're life wondering what will happen next, You just have to get on with it :D

Not much for today, Sorry guys <3

Scotty <3

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Together-ness

Hey again!

Today has been a day full of togetherness. First of all I went down to my grandmothers, where most of the family was helping her move the furniture around and helping out :)
Then I had a surprise when my friends Kimmy and Luke came to visit me, It had been along time since I saw them and it was a great time. We spent time on the parrkkk in the Rain! and then went to get the munch and watched the Lee Evans Big Tour :D
Amazing guy.

Another great thing today, The new album "Common Dreads" by Enter Shikari, One of my all time favourite bands has just been released. After the Pre-release of "Juggernaught" from the album came out, I knew I would be addicted.
I first saw the advert on the telenision, and RAN to my computer to look at it and listen to it, So far,

IT'S LIKE NOTHING I'VE HEARD BEFORE!

It's genious :L

"I know that we still got time, And I do not think we're invincable, The Idea of community will be something to display in a museam" <3 I love this new album, and recommend it to ANYONE.

A few qoutes that've helped me this week:

• "Whether it's the friends you choose, or the friends that choose you. A friend is someone who can understand, and want the best for you, and the problem is when you do get hurt by those you love. Is it just the sort of people that your friends are like, or do you choose the wrong people".
• "The lions are at the door, We aint taking orders from snakes no more".
• "If more then one person says that I'm doing something wrong, What the hell did I do wrong so much that I'm not aware of it?".
• "The biggest mistake a person can make, is not saying what needs to be said, as we all know they're alot of things that are never said, so don't stop until you've had your say".

Haha, I would like to take this oppertunity to thank any readers on my blog, and would also like to ask for comments, Thankyou :).

Scotty <3

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Blissful-ness

Hey people.

I would have never expected something like today to actually happen. Today was spent in alot of peace and quiet.

First of all, I had my Religious Studies exam, I felt it went alright, nothing to bad in it, I'll do fine. Then I hung around with possibly my oldest friend, Jack :)

Tehe, Then the un-comprahendable parts. Me and my friend Shaun decided to go on our impulses which led us to a cemetary, where I tried to locate my Great Grand parents, and my Great Uncle Fred. However, we didn't find them, but felt we were close. Then we moved to a space of grass that to the ordinary eye was nothing, but it used to be a lake that our old Chaucer Infants friends enjoyed many summers ago.

All in all a great day, I was just amazed by the amount of peace and bliss that I felt, especially since I didn't feel like it after the exam. The lack of interaction between me and my best friends have been very little, and even more decreased since a certian somebody walked in and gave everything a twist. However, despite this, it was just ... Too peacefull. Like finally finding mental peace. ^^

Thankyou, Sorry for the short update, however I'm busy all tomorrow, So i'll update on that tomorrow night, until then...

Scotty <3

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Right For Right

Hey Gang :)

I wanted to talk about a right for a right. It's been on my mind recently that if an action that is right for you, and not right for someone else, should it be considered?
Typically speaking I don't think like a normal person would, I don't have a need to protect myself from things, with saying that I don't feel the need to hide parts of myself neither. What i'm trying to say is:

"Say you have to take an action, you don't want to do this, but you know you have to get inbetween some people in order to get better, what do you do?"

What I've been thinking is that even if you considered it, they are always going to be loop holes in your actions, and if people look hard enough they're really obvious. However we judge our friends on how they treat you back, and the main thing in a friendship is; "If you was in their shoes, what would you do in order to not hurt that person?". I can saftely say that most people would take a selfish route and determine their actions on the logic of if the outcome would be better for themselves. However, I would choose to take an action that helps both myself and that other person, no matter how much I would hate to do that action, if it's for the good of the cause, it should be done.
However, I can say that in the past few weeks the amount of people that take in anything that I say are has decreased to almost 2 or 3 people. It's not that I expect people to listen to what I want to say, or what I want. It's just I feel that as a human being we all have the right to speak for ourselves, and if people don't truly listen to your case, ignorant veiws are made, and those actions are completely twisted into something that would only hurt myself.
With that logic in mind, I am more about listening to others and co-operating to save any just-cause. On the other hand, very few people think like me therefore, the selfish option is completely unavoidable, leaving the one option left:

"The action must be carried out, in the most subtle way possible for sanitiy."

On to more recent events, this week has been a real sun shine :) I've spent most of my week out around the town, enjoying the veiws why kids are at school. I never would of thought it to be so peacful during school hours :D
Though, I do have bad sunburn D;

Haha, Until next time. ;)

Scotty <3

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Definition Of A Hero

Hey people!

I just wanted to talk about Heroism today. Whether a hero is someone you look up to, or somebody you have always admired, the term means different things to alot of people. For example, a hero for me is someone who I can stay strong for. Someone I know I need to be strong for emotionally and physically because of the bonds that we share, this is my hero.
However, more and more people get entwined with the fantasy hero, the one with super strength that rescues people :) Though I want that to be true, i'm affraid I go after an Emotional Hero :) Someone to lift the burden of my emotional spillage and help me further towards happiness.

So, Talking on a more personal note, I am finishing school next thursday :D I'm very excited, all the free time is a real relief after the exams I have taken. However, three more to go I'm affraid, tomorrow is my physic's paper. I've done all I can to prepare, so I should be fine, Wish me Luck (Y).
A couple of weeks ago, I had stopped my search for the return of love. However, I've decided that in my best interest it is time to overlook that barrier and sreach for my hero. Although, in my time of sitting back and letting other people go for it, no one will ever determine what people feel on the inside fully, there'll always be something there that it comepletely un-readable and un-comprehendable. Hopefully though, my search shouldn't take long :)
Another event I'm going crazy about, Prom. July 29th 2009 my year eleven prom. I know it won't be the prom of my dreams, though I hope that'll come around, as It would make me SO happy and SO lucky to have it. I'm going with my friend, she's kind, loving and caring :) I just love her Haha. So it'll be a good night, if not then an interesting one for the person on the other side ;)

I hope you've enjoyed reading my posts, please send some comments for feedback :)

Scotty <3

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The Future

Hey Guys.

Sorry I've not updated lately, I've been through some things lately and I've been very busy :)
Forgive me ? :D

Haha, So I wanted to speak about the Future?
Do you believe it can be fortold by cards and other gifts?
Or do you believe that there isn't anything like fate in the world.

Well, I believe that out actions atleast have some guideline here on earth. However, I also believe in Karma, and the two theorys clash. If something bad was to happen to you, and it went back to the other person, surely it couldn't react properly because it wasn't designed in the plans to make that change.
However contraversial fate is, does it matter anyway?
If you live ideally in the present and you have someone there that you care about, and others that you caer about like friends, family and other people you know, does it completely matter what you're life will turn out like. As you can see, I am living in the moment. Which is a new development for me as I've never tried to do this. I've always tried to live in the past, which we all know just hurts and never really has a good outcome. However at this moment in time, I'm always going out with my friends, I'm always having fun. I'm loosing ALOT of weight and i'm starting to reach a point were I am happy. Not completely happy, just a distraction, however it's the closest i've gotten in a very long time, and I like it. Although, it all rests on the decision of one person, which to be very honest is a hard and difficult position, I personally wouldn't like to be that person, however I trust this person with my life. And ultimately enjoy company from my friends.
So even with new developments in my life, when you start to live for the moment, things become clear. I've been able to think alot clearly and move around without having any doubt in my mind that I'll be let down by someone I love :)

I just want to say thankyou, to this person, She knows who she is, as for all my friends, Thankyou again. And I want to say for anyone reading my blog, thankyou. I shall continue writting :)

<3 Scotty.

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A Have A Problem!

Dear people whoever cares.

I have a biggg problem. How do you show somebody that the person they think so much of, is nothing but a shadow of the former thinker they once was. =/
My situation is getting tougher, and if I don't do anything now it'll be too late. And no matter who I tell this to, no body understand it all. =/

What do you do when all you want is something that you can't have, but is infront of your eyes?
How do you tell someone how you really feel?
How do you make somebody see sense?
What do you have to do to make you're dreams happen?
How do you tell that person you want a future?
What do you say when you mean you don't care?
How do I tell you that I need you?
How do I tell you that I want you?
What do I tell you when you ask me how I'm feeling?
How do I tell you I'm going insane apart from you?
What do I say to you when You ask me kindly?
When you're in need of help, How do I tell you it'll destroy me?

These are the questions I need answering :(
But sadly, Nobody can answer them...

Sorry for the depressing blog, I eneded to vent some things, I swear I'll make it up to you tomorrow <3 Lack of sleep :(

Scotty <3

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Moving On

Hey people!

Okay, so today I have only been awake for an hour, literally. And it's come to my attention that I really wanted to talk about Moving on. I know that this will sound really dodgey, but bare with me okay.

Kso, Moving on can be not only a hard thing to do, but a hard thing to watch. If you had a pet that just passed away, or anything like that situation, it could be a very draining process, and something that can only happen with time. However, with saying that some people can't move on and they've living in the past. Is this wrong?
Speaking from experience, it can be very hurtful, because the people and things from the past might not be here anymore, they might not be in the present. As for moving on my history on it isn't superb.

I just wanted to say that random peice of factual information ;D.

Right, So last night I'ev started reading about Paganism, through a book written by "Soraya", a world famous pagan. And I've got to tell you, it really does appeal to me. I know that I don't believe in god, but a power all around us. But that's just me, I'm hardly a christian example :)

So I'll keep you updated on how thats going, and I also wanted to share with you these qoutes that I've been thinking over and over and over again :)

"Just like a flower, we are never the same, and as the flower grows, we learn that it isn't the life we cheerish, it is the other folowers we meet
along the way, as we all grow for the younger generations to reinact the circle" Scotty <3

"As we grow emotionally into enlightenment, we learn that the past is not relavent, and we learn that the future cannot be fore told, but the present
can be lived through until all three cease from existence" Scotty <3

"Sometimes the hardest thing to do, and the right thing to do are a mixture of the fact that you are confussed. However, if you don't know what's
easy and whats wrong, you must realise the situation for what it is. Is it just the fact that you are incapable to make up your mind, or do you
just want to hurt other people." Scotty <3

"Giving up is the easiest thing in the world, anybody can give up at any time. However, staying together in a time when others expect you to fall,
this the true strength within you." Scotty <3

"Nothing compares to the sweet sense of satisfaction in a hard worked situation, however within the circles of our realtity we still dweal on
hope and love alone. To stop this would destroy us, we are yet these monsters to become." Scotty <3

"A person without emotion is no person at all, but a mere mask of the deeper feeling of a human." Scotty <3

Thankyou for reading.
Scotty <3

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Family Values and Break Up Morals.

Hey there again.

So the past few days have been extremelt hard for me, I've not got anyone there for me anymore, and I ust feel like im in isolation from my friends as somethings gone off and they're drifting away. But I spent today with my family, and descovered that family are really important, and that I regret not trying to meet up with them, because you never be to sure on what could happen in the future.
I went to my Grans and discovered somethings about my family history. Today me and mum became like best friends, and we went out to the shops, and came back to watch a film. However, although I don't talk to my parents and family as much as I should, could it change any aspect of my life at this moment in time?

Sorry to get depressive on you xD

Right, another thing that I have been told about today. What exactly are the morals on breakups? If someone cheats on you, are you supossed to forgive them and banish any ideas that are against you're "Love" for that person. Or are you supossed to get some justice and fall away from them, and realise who you're real friends are.
Real friends come along once in a life time, and even after someone proves themselves as that person, are you supossed to carry on and crawl back into the arms of the person that hurt you last.

In my opinion no, no, no, no and no. If someone hurts you, you should get a reason and you should fall away from them, and not forgive them. But then again, it depends on the kind of situation. =/

Anyways, sorry to get depressive on you guys, long day and no sleep. Yeah, i'm still not sleeping anymore, I get like 4-5 hours a night, that's bad right?

Scotty <3

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Haha, A day of nothing-ness :)

Hey guys.

Well today was the best day of my life! I did nothing :(
Haha, Literally nothing, I woke up... ate... watched television... and I'm on the computer now :) Bad right?
Haha.

I just wanted to share somethings, I'm starting to write my poetry again, which means I might post some on this blog in the near future :)
Ontop of that, I'm starting to write some philosophical phrases, I might also add them on here.

UPDATE: You may also notice that I have an artwork site, yes please look at it :) I've been told it's worth the look, many friends (Big thanks to Marius) have said that my artwork is coming along with alot of progress. I've only been designing 3 weeks in total, and I feel i've done very well in that time :)

"Is it impossible for the weed to grow into a flower, or is it the lack of hope and belief that stop the transformation?" Scotty.

Actually that has a very double sided truth. On one side if you believe you have hope and you can change your lif for the better, you can do so in a very short time. After all, control is yours for the taking, if you don't have control, then you'll get no where in life. However, If you've been through alot in the past few years, like me. Hope and belief are something that wear thin after you've had so many troubling times, you just run out of it eventually and when that happens, there isn't really anything good to look for. Life without hope is just an existence. Life without love is hell. :)

True words, Just too cool :D

*More artwork coming soon* :)

Stay updated.

Scotty <3

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Today I am tired!

Hey guys ;P
I'm seriously tired today, not only did I only get like 3 hours sleep, I also had an English Exam that I aced :)
Haha, But seriously I really am tired and I really need to start promoting this site.

Hmmmm.
This is you're situation, what would you do?

"You've just had a friend come to you willing to help you out in your time of need, you think yes this can only be a good thing. And then you find out that this friend is not only using you for company and help, but you start developing feeling for this person, and then you make the mistake of trying something sexual with that person, and he enjoys it but then comes to his senses and leaves."

Haha, My friend Jane is wondering what to do, and at this very moment I cannot for the life of me think of an answer. But then again, what I'd do is just try to ask that person how they felt, and then try it again and if it happens again then move on, there's no point in worrying over someone who clearly doesn't need it. Especially if this person is giving you emotional help :)

I've just finished re-modeling my Art work folder on Facebook.

Check it out and tell me what you think, which reminds me I need to re-model the pictures on this site :) :D (Y)



<3

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My Blog Campign.

I'm planning on doing a blog each day, most proberly more than that, I love writing and I love blogging :D
However, it all depends on the amount of feed back, and the amount of people that visit the site, If you do come on here and enjoy what you read, please invite your friends or email buddies :)
:)

You're all very welcome to add my msn, myspace, facebook or tagged :)

Haha, I hope you enjoy this campign :)

Tehe

<3

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Start of my Blog.

Hey there, First blog on the site :) Haha.
Hmmm, To start off, I'll tell you alittle about myself.

I'm scotty, Scotty-pie! Scotteh or Scotteth :P Whichever you prefer.
Blue eyes, Blonde hair, Big Heart <3
I will listen to everyone and everything, Trust me... I've heard it all before :)
I'm in a Rock Band, "Ultraviolet Overdose"!
I play the bass gutiar :)
I'm a philosipher ;D
And I love having fun.

Now it's your turn, Leave comments telling me about yourself. :)

<3

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